You or Your Partner Cheated and You Don’t Want to Separate – Consider This

Cheating has become common place in our society yet the options of how to respond to it has been limited. Until now most have been made to believe that the only response to infidelity is to separate and to leave the damage behind.  I propose that the legal process is not the only response.  Another option is available for you to consider.Cheating no longer has to mean the end of a relationship and some high conflict situations can be avoided with careful guidance and commitment on the part of both the individuals involved and the clinician. Clinical practitioners and authors like Janis Abrahms-Spring,Ph.D., Emily Brown, MSW and Dr. Douglas K. Snyder and more have illustrated time and time again that people can recover from infidelity and intimate bonds can survive the trauma. I have replicated these results in my practice and couples have successfully overcome the intense turmoil that infidelity causes. 

The “legal option” seldom provides a long-term solution.
- David Feder

I admit that there will be some who will not be able to stay together after an affair but counselling plays an important role here too. Affair counselling helps to explain the conditions that were present during the committed relationship that enabled the affair to happen. And for those who are able to stay together, affair counselling helps individuals understand why the affair happened, take appropriate responsibility, express remorse for the betrayal and rejection that was caused, resolve issues (including self-esteem, family of origin issues, etc.), rebuild trust and facilitate a re-commitment to one another. As a result affair counselling can help reduce the risk that infidelity will re-occur in the relationship.

There is no guarantee that a couple will be able to survive the trauma of infidelity and remain intact and it is acknowledged that a certain percentage of relationships will end because of it. But affair counselling gives each partner the opportunity to make an informed decision about their future, as well as an opportunity to heal.

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